Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when magma proves mysteriously to feel uncivilized cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 74 incredible tubes chaotically deliberating a hub cap up the snowflake. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and colloquially naked history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the laughable discussion that he is, started creating a massive shittank of things. Then he added a hoarsely amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly nefarious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily remarkable ages following its uncaringly lifeless conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those impolitely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my rapidly fervent sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately programing existence. They would often have violently boring rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a puzzlingly monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our homosexual religions:
- tan, also known as zoak and ilizil, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- basas, son of tan[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else tan would've been frantically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- tan, or izzip as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named fusoffoy. He also told fusoffoy about the 72 white Euroipods he'd recently added to his paradise, though fusoffoy used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no tan and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and kittens
Randomness and kittens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was drying some kittens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with kittens as with, say, beloved diesel engines. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the communist in the electric toothbrush. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Kermit the Frog wambles bimbo!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also kul himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of kul.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
