UnSignpost:Article/What shall we do with the site banner?
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By ScottPat
Outrage was caused by the site's banner this week as wildlife authorities protested wildly about the content on our banner. "Killing giraffes in Danish zoos is totally acceptable but threatening to punch a zebra is against every animal right," said an expert on punching things from the WWF. The topic was brought to fruition in a forum, where it was proposed that as only users at Uncyclopedia lack enough of a soul to laugh at zebras in gladiator arenas then the current site banner should be replaced with something that the readers and the users can both deal with and benefit from.
Already both Alcoholics Anonymous and the Samaritans were demanding that they could appeal on our site banner as according to them, "By targeting Uncyclopedian users specifically we could dramatically decrease the alcohol abuse and suicide rate across the World." These proposals were rejected by the community and admin Spike gave a press statement, "Uncyclopedia is not a home to psychopaths who have no soul, it is home to users who enjoy training zebras to box, fill up their vehicular transport with ethanol and love the sensation of running towards a cliff or a very fast train."
The Chief complained that there were no other options for the site banner. Unless he could market his new paint stripping technique manual on the banner, he saw nothing to promote that readers wanted to know. Perhaps we should do away with the banner completely as we had done before.
Does this mean that when we hold large events like PLS people will actually have to get off their lazy arses and bother to check village dump? A feat surely almost impossible considering that many users also complained they do not have the muscular capacity to click a few links and read the UnSignpost.