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UnNews: Your source for up-to-the-minute misinformation. May 19, 2024 20:46 UTC From the Chief | Audio | Podcast | Random article | Goldstein Award | Foolitzer Prize Tenth Planet Identified as 10th Least Cared-About Topic in Nation PARIS - Officials at the International Astronomical Union (IAU) in Paris expressed disappointment yesterday when they learned that the discovery of a tenth planet ranks 10th on a nationally compiled list of the 20 least cared-about news topics in America. 2003 UB313, the as-yet unnamed body, is larger than Pluto and has its own moon. The discovery of the planet had sparked a lively academic debate on the definition of a planet, but has yet to resonate with most Americans. -- more Update this · Discuss this Mr. Whipple squeezes Charmin, dies at 91 HOLLYWOOD, California -- Charmin pitchman and television icon Mr. Whipple, has died at the age of 91. Whipple, born George Whipple Bush but dropped his last name at age 18, died Monday after squeezing a package of Charmin that was contaminated with E. Coli. Whipple was unaware of the contamination, despite the warnings of bystanders at the local grocery store called Albertsons. "It was horrifying!" said John McCartney, 41. "I couldn't look. I had to cover my eyes." As he squeezed, the TV legend inhaled a bit of the bacteria, which quickly led to a heart attack and an unbearable urge to pee. Confused Whipple didn't know which one he needed to take care of first. -- more Update this · Discuss this Also, this other stuff happend
	Departments Africa | Antarctica | Asia | Australia | Europe | Euthanasia | Super Asia | North America | Central America | South America | Middle East All regions, countries and topics Customer "service" Ask Cthulhu | Ask Hal 9000 | Tech Support UnNews Audio - Podcast UnNews:San Fransisco Marks Godzilla Attack Centennial • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Times-Picayune, Sun Herald, UnNews Win Pulitzer • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Last Minute Tax Tips From UnNews • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:General Pace, Captain Morgan defend Rumsfeld • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Enron's Skilling claims innocence as wallet doesn't fit • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Governator declares emergency; vows to go back in time to stop flood • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Wikipedia, Wikia Victim Of Wiki-Terrorism • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Exploding frogs in Louisiana kill 4; martial law in effect • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Uncyclopedia’s Cabal Plans to Clean House: Dozens of Uncyclopedians Given their Walking Papers • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:World Prepares for Bird Flu Pandemic • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Ronald McDonald arrested for selling dope to children • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Hit series Israel returns with new season • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Iran Tests New Weapons • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Gates offered to pay National Debt • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Comittee for Standardization of Business Language founded • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Collision of airborne TV station, crop duster, and diaper transport leaves 3 dead, 2 injured • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Baptist Minister Confounded, Now Hates Everybody • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Easter Bunny Dies of Rabies • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Uncyclopedia Suffers Mass Vandalisation • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews:Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] Unnews-Bush blames Saddam for Iraq instability • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] UnNews-Spam is made of Cubans • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] A Lego-size sculpture of a naked Britney Spears • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] Fox cancels more shows • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] College celebrates another year of raising tuition • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] American Convert Could Face Death • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] Microsoft patant considarad valid • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] Bush Explains Deficit Spending is Fault of Leprechauns • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] Judge Brings Down Ruling in New Jersey Satan Case • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] Nigerian census finds millions of rich, desperate princes • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] AAAAAAAAA! • media info • [[{{{article}}}|text]] Got news and no fish? Call the Fish Monger +1-555-867-5309 (Ask for Jenny)
	edit Worldwide Forecast at a Glance: Puerto Rico, Cuba, and Florida will be hit by 17 simultaneous hurricanes, all of them with stupid names, some of them running out of rain and instead using slightly damp tea bags to inflict property damage. Over to Africa, there'll be cool breeze to start a warm day tomorrow, with a slight chance of guerilla warfare in the afternoon. On now to Canada and the north of the US, quite warm, about the temperature of a cow. In the orogenous zone, expect vertically erect systems to occur despite rear-end inflow. In summary, if there was a chance that a kitten-huffing meteorologist wrote today's forecast, today would be that day. Special Weather Report: Montreal: Someone left Niagara Falls running all night and accidently drained the Great Lakes. Global Warming Indicator Only two complained that this forecast sucked, the other 42,089,357 were getting high.
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